"There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go." ~Author Unknown
Simply defined, grief is the normal and natural reaction to significant emotional loss of any kind. While we can never compare losses, any list would include death and divorce as obvious painful losses. Our list also includes many others; retirement, moving, pet loss, financial and health issues, marriage, graduation, end of addictions, and unmet hopes, dreams, and expectations. There are approximately 43 losses which can produce the range of emotions that we call grief. The range of emotions associated with grief is as varied as there are people and personalities. There is no list of feelings that would adequately describe one person’s emotions, much less an entire society. Grief is individual and unique. As every relationship is unique, so are the feelings and thoughts each person will have about the relationship that has been altered by death, divorce, or for other reasons.
While grief is normal and natural, most of the information passed on within our society about dealing with grief is not normal, natural, or helpful. Grief is the emotional response to loss, but most of the information we have learned about dealing with loss is intellectual.
The majority of incorrect ideas about dealing with loss can be summed up in six myths which are so common that nearly everyone recognizes them. Most people have never questioned whether or not they are valid. The misinformation is best described in the following:
The Six Myths
Time Heals All Wounds
Grieve Alone (since it's too hard on others to help)
Don't Feel Bad
Replace the Loss
Just looking at the myth that “time heals” creates the idea that a person just has to wait and they will feel better. There are people who have waited 10, 20, 30, and 40 years, and still didn’t feel better. They would tell you that not only had time not healed them, but that it had compounded the pain. The other five myths carry equally unhelpful messages.
Recovery from loss is accomplished by discovering and completing all of the undelivered communications that accrue in relationships. We are all advised to “Let Go,” and “Move On” after losses of all kinds. Most of us would do that if we knew how.
Completion of pain caused by loss is what allows us to let go and move forward. It is almost impossible to move forward without first taking a series of actions that lead to completion.
Before taking the actions to complete, it is important to look at and often dismiss some of the ideas or myths that we have tried to use with loss, but which are not working.
The Correct Actions
The Grief RecoveryMethod® Programs provide the correct action choices that help people move beyond the pain caused by loss. There are 7- (individual sessions) and 8-week (group sessions) programs that provide a safe environment in which to look at old beliefs about dealing with loss; to look at what losses have affected your life; and to take new actions which lead to completion of the pain attached to one of those losses.
The Grief Recovery Handbook – 20th Anniversary Expanded Edition - The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses by John W. James and Russell Friedman, Founders of The Grief Recovery Institute® is used as the text for the programs.
"Grieving is a necessary passage and a difficult transition to finally letting go of sorrow - it is not a permanent rest stop." ~Dodinsky
You Can Move Forward Positively!
As a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist®,
Dr. Menen, BSc, ND offers individual and group grief support programs
to suit your unique needs. Grief Recovery® services are conducted in association
with The Grief Recovery Institute®.
What are you investing in?
With over 35 years in existence, The Grief Recovery Institute® has helped hundreds of thousands of people across the world heal from significant emotional loss. The Grief Recovery Method® is a tried, tested, and true way in which to acknowledge and become complete with losses of any kind.
What is unique about The Grief Recovery Method®?
Grief support groups provide a safe and non-judgmental environment for you to verbalize the thoughts and feelings you experience following a loss. While there is an absolute benefit to that kind of expression, it may not be enough. Talking about how you feel often does not complete the unfinished emotional business that is attached to your loss. The Grief Recovery Method® Programs are designed to guide you through a series of actions to not only verbalize your feelings, but to also help you complete the pain associated with those feelings. It is not time that heals our wounds, it is the actions we take within time that does. This action-oriented program requires total honesty and commitment.
How soon after a loss can you begin Grief Recovery®?
Effective Grief Recovery®can begin immediately. We tend to create larger-than-life memory pictures in which we either enshrine or bedevil the person who died or the person from whom we are now divorced, estranged, etc. This phenomenon increases with time, making it more difficult to discover the truth within our relationships. It is never too soon or too late to address your grief.
Grief Recovery Method® 7-Session One-on-One Program
An individual approach to Grief Recovery®allows you to work through your grief at your own pace. Because everyone grieves differently, you may require more than 7 (one-hour) sessions to complete your relationship to any pain, isolation, and loneliness caused by the loss.
You are asked to commit to 7 sessions minimum to effectively complete the program and allow sufficient time to benefit from the emotional work you will be doing.
The text that is used to guide you to recovery is The Grief Recovery Handbook - 20th Anniversary Expanded Edition - The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses by John W. James and Russell Friedman. The text will be provided to you upon commitment to the program.
If you would like to request an appointment for Grief Recovery sessions do email Dr. Menen, BSc, ND at firstname.lastname@example.org or call/text 416-920-8975 for more information!
I'm looking forward to helping you move through your own areas of grief with compassion and positive direction!